Solo Stereotypes- 2/26/2025
Payton D -
Welcome back everyone!
Picture this: You’re standing in the checkout line, wrangling a toddler and juggling groceries when the cashier casually asks, “Another one coming soon?” For many parents, this question is more than small talk—it’s a loaded inquiry about their family’s future.
Lauren Sandler, an only child herself, found herself in this exact situation. Having just turned 35, she wrestled with the idea of expanding her family. She wanted to be the best parent she could be to her child, but she also valued her career, financial stability, and personal well-being. The reality is that having another child isn’t always a simple decision, and for many families, economic pressures play a significant role. According to Larry Finer, the director of domestic policy at the Guttmacher Institute, a leading reproductive-health research organization, the recession dramatically reshaped women’s childbearing desires and specifically found that “64% of women polled said that with the economy the way it is, they couldn’t afford to have a baby now. 44% said they plan to reduce or delay their childbearing — again, because of the economy.” Furthermore, in both the Great Depression and recent recessions, the birth control industry was one of the only industries that continued to grow. As a result, when faced with the cashiers, she wanted to respond: “The U.S. Department of Agriculture reports that the average child in the U.S. costs his or her parents about $286,050 — before college. Those costs have actually risen during the recession. The milk I’m buying adds up to $50 a month, and we’re pushing toilet training just to drop the cost of diapers — about $100 a month — from our monthly budget. It’s a marvel to me these days that anyone can manage a second kid — forget about a third.” However, she didn’t say anything.
There are many reasons why people decide not to have another child, but who started to paint the image that they were lonely? Sandler explained that it was the work of Granville Stanley, who supervised the 1896 study “Of Peculiar and Exceptional Children,” which described a series of only-child oddballs as permanent misfits. At the time, Hall and other psychologists didn’t know how to properly and ethically conduct and disseminate research, which resulted in Hall saying “being an only child is a disease in itself.”
However, modern research tells a different story. Toni Falbo, a professor of educational psychology and sociology at the University of Texas at Austin, has done extensive research on only children for almost 50 years, even diving into China with their one-child policy, and alongside Denise Polit, conducted a meta-analysis of 115 studies, finding that only children are no different from their peers in personality and social traits, except for higher intelligence and achievement scores. Despite these findings, it’s difficult for people to get rid of their biases, as Adriean Mancillas from CSUDH notes this comes from the fact that misconceptions exist worldwide and are reinforced by cognitive biases, making them difficult to dispel.
The pressure to have more than one child is influenced by both outdated beliefs and modern media. However, being an only child does not mean loneliness, just as having siblings does not guarantee companionship. I wanted to highlight these misconceptions and societal pressures this week because they provide important context for understanding the experiences of only children who responded to my survey, which I will share next week.
Thank you so much for reading and I look forward to sharing results next week!
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